yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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