trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
