Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize