Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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