Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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