so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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