So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
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Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
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After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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