i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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