PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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