you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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