I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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