it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
