I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
