Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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