Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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