And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I wear drunk well.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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