dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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