Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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