Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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