I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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