we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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