he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
