Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
