i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
