haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize