Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Randomize
