Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
