go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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