none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
