Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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