I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
sarcasm needs its own font
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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