Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
