I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
