I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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