Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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