So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize