Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.