Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
