it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
