im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
