it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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