He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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