sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm at about main and main street
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
