hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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