she looked like the before picture.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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