the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
