The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm bleeding and have questions
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
