Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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