so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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