I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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