her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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