Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
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Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
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You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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