Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
