Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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