I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
