but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
