it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
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We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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