All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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