he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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