happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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