I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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